I woke with a start. I heard a noise coming from past the open door of my bedroom. I couldn't tell if it was upstairs or downstairs.
This is it, I thought. Finally, an intruder has made their way into my home. Lucky I chose the pyjama option. But, far from a light note, having a stranger burst into my home is one of those deep, dark fears I have.
I strained to hear the familiar creaks of my apartment. He was upstairs! In my home! I couldn't move... but from somewhere deep inside, I found the power to raise my head.
As my eyes adjusted to the dark, I managed to see a fucking raccoon climb onto the heater and out the open window in the lounge. As I breathed a loud sigh of relief, another fucking raccoon followed her husband out the fucking window. I sat up to giggle, and the last raccoon turned and looked straight at me.