Sophia Loren.

Despite various denials, everyone everywhere in the whole world always dreams about which Hollywood star would play them in a movie.

My star is (naturally) Sophia Loren. I know i'm dreaming, but if I were to a) wear a corset, b) dress like her, c) speak Italian, and d) have a nose job and eye make-bigger operation, I could actually be her. The trick is, the George you know and love often chooses comfortable over sexy, pants over skirts, hoodies over cardies, none over makeup. That's why I need an actress.

That Sophia twinkle popped into my eye on Sunday whilst in Buffalo Exchange on Valencia. I was looking through the parka section when the proprietor approached me. "A lot of women have tried on the dress in the window, but I think you have the figure for it." I squawked "Oh? Really? Super!"

He escorted me to the front window of the store, and pointed me to a (gorgeous) strapless number, 50s-ish cut, in a lovely red, black and goldy sort of printy thing. I think it might have come to just below the knee.

I told him what a lovely dress I thought it was, and he re-iterated that he was happy to take it down for me anytime should I wish to try it on.

I toyed with the idea momentarily, but... there were buts. Where the hell would I wear something like that? I'd have to get a strapless bra... But... but... i'd have to be fucking Sophia Loren to pull that off! I don't mean fucking, but you know, like, fucking...

Hmm... I am in a new town... and i'm sure i'm a minx underneath all the denim.