Cheque.

Apparently Wells Fargo intends me to wallpaper my house with its cheques. When I signed up for my not-Disney-or-dolphins-or-woodgrain cheques (aka the free ones) I was initially sent a massive pack of about 3,000 cheques. I opened my account ages ago, but still hadn't received my plastic bits that you stick in the wall for money, so I called to have them resent. Instead of plastic bits, I got another package of 50,000 cheques and no plastic.

I normally only use cheques to pay for bills, so I guess this means i'll have to live in San Francisco for about 30 years and use a lot of gas and heat and plumbing and things.

I don't like to waste paper.