It's true. I've played D&D for several years. Maybe even fifteen. And before you say it? I know.

I've landed in a new bunch of dorks who have allowed me to join their play group, and I am now the proud owner of a new personality in the form of a 2'10" halfling lady named Merla, an acolyte of the (convenient) halfling goddess of trickery, protection and good. And may I just say Merla kicks ass.

As I ordered my new Player's Handbook: Core Rulebook I (Dungeons & Dragons, Edition 3.5) in preparation for my next session with my companions (so I don't have to keep borrowing everyone else's), I stole a moment to take the Ultimate Roleplaying Purity Test.

I am 80.99% pure, people.
CategoryMy ScoreAverage
I've killed all sorts of things, and can I just say it's Very Satisfying.
Sensitive Roleplaying59.49%
"But what's my motivation for this scene?"
GM Experience97.83%
I never DM. Someone else does. And they are much better at it than I am.
Systems Knowledge98.45%
Purity here is measured by the fact that i'd only played D&D in a list about 50 bazillion super-dork RPGs.
Livin' La Vida Dorka77.01%
I can hold a conversation about magic weapons and the best strategy to attack a water elemental. Can you?

Yes, I have my own dice, and they are very pretty and all the way from home. Yes, I have played the same character for over 10 years, and she is married in the game, and has been resurrected. (As a centaur actually. This may sound unlucky, but believe me, if you saw the chart of options for type-of-animal-into-which-your-soul-may-be-reborn you would realise that a centaur is waaay better than, say, a marmot.) She has kicked all kinds of ass in her lifetime. There are many, many tales of ass-kicking in all sorts of weather. Perhaps I will regale you with one or two sometime.

If you've ever played a role-playing anything, why don't you take the test. If you aren't a total dorkface, you'll get a laugh.