Instead, I was invited to attend not one, but two Seders. Twenty new friends accompanied me to the first: Let My People Pass Go. It was matzoh, matzah, and its friendly variant matza covering the table from left to right in an astounding variety of dishes from lasagne to cupcakes. Who knew?
Many jokes were cracked as we read the Haggadah together, each in a pre-defined accent written on a post-it note under our plates. I was French amongst a variety including Southern Baptist, a Robot and a Cockney with (provided) bad teeth. Many jokes flew about the table about selling one's chametz (cheap) on E-Bay, especially the Miracle Whip etc. I was also unaware that drinking the red wine was part of the ritual, and as I sipped away noticed that my glass was indeed half-empty at the appropriate "I have enough" moments. It was all very salty, so, I was thirst-quenching.
The (controversial) 2nd night Seder was lovely too. Amongst a smaller group, we read from the somewhat less traditional, gender-neutral and God-name-free Santa Cruz edition of the Haggadah. I particularly enjoyed the "translated" questions about finding one's inner peace/demon/questions man, and dude, that angst you feel? You're not alone. Despite being very close to giggling at one point, I thought Derek did a wonderful job leading us through the evening, and I was even able to chime in with a cheeky Dayeinu having heard it the night before.
Overall, more questions than answers, lots of salt, lovely company and a glimpse into a ne'er seen ritual.