It's coming to me slowly. The realisation that I project my own bias and insecurity on others. This applies in work and in my interaction with people I know. I am confused by its origin, and am considering therapy. Or a few beers.
For example, when I first came to America, I suspected every American to be vacuous, superficial and product-dependent. Now, I'm not saying that there are none of these people here. The point is, I had assumed this true of everyone. (Incidentally, I am still mightily interested in the strength of one's facade here, and whether or not this is a peculiarly American trait, or if it can be recognised everywhere...) I remember quite clearly stating my rather myopic conviction to some (well-rounded, genuine, generous) Americans at the time, and their look of slight offence and/or a "get off the grass
" equivalent. I'm now realising the vast majority of people desire engaging interactions, honesty and depth in conversation, and seeing the Real Person. It's that I'm afraid or unable to fathom it.
I realise this is nothing new in the grand scheme. There are songs, fairy tales, poems, etc that tell tales of liberation, realisation, enlightenment. Funny though, that my recognition of many years spent "knowing" and "anticipating" others' perceptions and judgements might turn out to have been, well, wrong. I wonder how much I've lost or closed.
There is grist here around that strange magnet that is Reality TV, but that's for another time.
11:07pm - Read this