Can you see me??!?!??!

Saturday, 2 January 2016

Captain's Log

It was my shrink in San Francisco who made me aware of the great divide I have in my life between my professional and personal lives. Her name is Wendy. Turns out it's normally the case when my professional life is going well my personal life is withered. My professional life has been going well for a few years now. I've spent these new year days mostly at home, mostly reading, mostly sleeping in, and preparing a few thoughts for the new year. I've said no to a couple of friendly invitations, preferring to stay in. I'm slightly worried about this behaviour, because it's depressive, and it's certainly true what they say about saying YES! to things instead of no helps make you feel better. I thank Wendy for teaching me how to see this stuff. (Though it might also be a legitimate rest and think, which I know I enjoy.)

I'm in an interesting spot between creativity and stillness. I've had a splendid year thinking about the various new projects I've shot into the world. It's almost as if I'm setting them up to either dovetail or compete directly with each other.

Making lots of different but related projects has been really fun, and hopefully that's starting to show in the work. I've been thinking very much about continuity and interconnection between them.

I've now found a home for the work - at least temporarily - in the form of a month-to-month office space in Whitechapel. I can't stop thinking about how to set up the space so it's a comfortable, productive workplace. There'll be room for about six people, I'd say. I'll be heading there on Monday to get the keys. Woo!

2015 was great for a few different reasons: I saw more of my brother than in the previous 20 years or so; I've created work for some of the most prominent cultural institutions in the world, I've found an afternoon tea spot to love (thanks to Kim), I've recognised the depth of cultural and artistic existence in London and it's bright and rich, with plenty of territory to explore. I'm also embracing my strength. It's great to make a small business that's yours.

I think London is what you make of it... I started here looking for support and partners, but realised you just have to make work first and develop support to form around you. It's dog-eat-dog here. I've also seen a lot of what people say about the Great British Bureaucracy is absolutely true and I dream about what it would be like if it was never thus. No one specific incident to speak of, but realisation of a general drab acceptance of shit service in some areas.

In spite of this worry about feeling reclusive, I get great energy and validation from my professional life and work, and I'm looking forward to having too many ideas this year. There are a thousand leads to follow and a thousand ideas to evaluate and three or four good ones to activate. I'd like to keep this energy imbalance between professional and personal more front of mind. Sorry for not sending you a Christmas card. I need to maintain an address book. I don't know enough friends' addresses. It'll be a good project.

Posted at 2:00 pm
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