COVID-19 Journal: Day 58

It's 23:37 and I'm thinking I should probably make some contraption to play the opening theme from Murder She Wrote or Miss Marple Does Dallas as I sit down to write?

I've just realised that I may actually be Jessica Fletcher. Everything you see her doing in the opening credits I HAVE DONE in the lockdown. Apart from the fishing.

Today I wasn't sure what day it was but it's Monday. I had to go to the printer's to pick up a proof of a booklet I'm designing for work which is fun and the proof looks great. You should always get a proof because you'll realise that your design was definitely not as perfect as you thought it was so that's helpful and I've fixed it. I went by the shop and got some #essench soda water and a couple of beers and a Magnum, continuing my studies. The Magnum theory I'm testing currently is Can you get sick of Mint Magnums. Nothing conclusive yet.

I forgot to wash my hands for ages when I got back. I'm sorry, and I'm just trying to be honest, and I think I may have put a finger very close to my eyes and possibly even my nostrils but I'm not 100% sure on that. You may recall as Lord Kate teaches us, we all touch our faces about three million times a second, so it's very, very likely. Christ, I hope I haven't fucked everything up.

Also, as I was working this morning, I took a slightly obnoxious #bestlife photo for work insta of my small desk full of crap with a mildly ostentatious book in it.


It's called Food and it's another in that series of classic essays by clever people put out by Penguin. But, let me tell you, I opened one of the beers and sat in the late afternoon sun to read it and, well, her words were like water off a duck's back. It's the first Stein writing I've read, and, well, it may well be the last. If you like her stuff, do let me know why.

I was going to quote you what she says about CELERY but I may have chucked the book in the recycling. If it turns up, I'll be sure to regale you.