COVID-19 Journal: Day 271

What a day. Started well. Coffee, small gift, bacon, orzo (in a packet), coffee, four carrots. Took the bus after (that and sunny Tower of London) for about 20 mins. Went past my stop to look beyond. Ended up crying as quietly as possible wearing sunglasses and a mask in 10'C as I wandered up Green Lanes on the side of the footpath that’s the way back home. Had been listening to a choral episode of Twenty Thousand Hertz. Now choirs make me cry because hearing them triggers home, very simply, because my parents are choristers. 

Quite a lot of tears from nowhere this month; these months(?). Like the other day when I cried on the phone to my vet’s receptionist when she was apologising for hurting my cat last week and the vet who hurt him was a locum vet they’ll never see again and somehow the email I sent the day after that person hurt my cat had been lost in her junk. After they write back sorry and with an offer, which I might take but it was true pain for the cat and I could see and hear it so don't want that again. Then I somehow enjoyed a job interview, perhaps because I’d stood in my garden outside with my chin up for five mins and then cleaned my teeth beforehand. After I've now had three glasses of wine (which used to be nothing but is now something) and watching Six Feet Under.

That’s what depression is like. And there are quite a few other things I’m not even mentioning - that's anxiety. 

I might delete this but in the interests of a public COVID diary I may not. 

Here's the most recent photo I've taken and is on my laptop: