I'm in the bizarre situation of finding calm through listening to Dominic Raab repeatedly tell whoever is asking "it will be ready when it's ready" and "everything is working according to plan". I've also listening to more of Between the Stops even though Toksvig also talks of contemporary social issues amongst her London tales from history, memories from her own life, and what it's like to catch her bus. I must admit to tuning out slightly to her posh chirpy voice from time to time. "I don't want to think about boys and their parts and their disproportionate influence on history," etc.
I went to Tesco today. It's surgical now. Loo roll and lamb steaks. And fish fingers. No treats. Apart from the fish fingers. I walk straight there, masked, and straight back. Masked. I had fruit and yoghurt for lunch at about 16:30. I have changed my clothes several times today. My face is puffy because I've cried a lot. I don't expect anyone at Tesco would have noticed, or cared. I certainly didn't.
As I search for my axis, which I seem to have slipped away from, I've been working my way through a selection of In Our Time with Melvyn Bragg episodes compiled by a friend, Lauren. So far I've listened to:
- Cultural Rights in the 20th Century,
- The British Empire’s Legacy, and
- Multiculturalism, with Stuart Hall
I am in an oddly un-free position of having to quarantine for two weeks if I wanted to go back home. Of course this not the same; you can't look for freedom from (unless you're an idiot), and it doesn't make moral sense to seek freedom to not be quarantined, because it's about a virus we're attempting to control. I don't know what I'm trying to say.