COVID-19 Journal: Day 34

Today I've been contemplating resistance and idiocy. But before I start, I wanted to let you know that I WON BREAKFAST today. Guacamole, scrambled eggs, more of that delicious Turkish bread, and hot salsa called Bastarda that a housesitter left behind, and I have nearly finished.

Guacamole for One

1 avocado
1/2 a lime's juice
coriander stalks, cut small
coriander leaves, to toss on whatever

Method: scoop out avocado, squeeze juice on it, smush, add salt and pepper, add coriander stalks.

I'm not quite sure how long it took Mr. George to kill the dragon, but if it was anything like syphilis, which apparently he's actually a saint for (?!), it may have taken him a while. So, today turned out to be Day Two of St George vs The Jasmine. Turns out the heart of the beast is fucking massive and well-attached and will probably take me another day or two to actually extract given that I've only got that borrowed handsaw, a trowel, my secateurs and the handy work gloves I am glad I found today.

I mean look at this bastard:

What an asshole

Speaking of assholes, I've been struck lately that one of my postulated tribes, the Stupid-Not-Braves are starting to emerge. I am reminded of that 2005 wonder that is Idiocracy. Soldier is cryogenically (or otherwise) frozen, apparently for a year, but he wakes up 500 years later by mistake and is the smartest person on Earth, by far. Hilarity ensues.

Everyone's now seen President Idiot standing up and theorising about possible treatments for the virus:


And yesterday, this other resisting idiot was taken down swiftly and well by an industrious woman named rebabeba, who easily established she's a resisting idiot resisting something in a fucking idiotic way:


It's unbelievable to me that people would be resisting their freedom being impinged upon in the hope of getting back out there in front of the virus and the virus would love that because its transmitters are a little scarce. I'll freely admit I'm a lefty who marches for women's rights mostly, so I'm all for showing up when you feel strongly about something and I know it's not polite or friendly to make fun of idiots, and actually, rebabeba is very polite about it which is something to aspire to, but HOLY CRAP COME ON. You want to resist stay at home because FREEDOM and you can't get your roots done? You think it would be good for us to inject ourselves with detergent and we should take a look at that?

Phew. Anyway, back to me and The Quest. I was super stoked to make a new and improved version of the detangler tool to defeat the Jasmine of Doom, with extra and longer barbs. It worked like a treat.

Stiff as you like

But, the bastard's tendrils are huge and everywhere, plus my neighbour came out and asked me to stop because she'd just washed her hair and could I do it later please. (So I went and made some lunch and then returned and tidied the giant piles of crap instead. OK.)

This may look exactly like yesterday to the untrained eye, but it isn't

Where does the resisting come in? Well... yes, folks, I had a moment of Zen as I was tending to the bamboo. The jasmine just doesn't budge unless you come at it from the right angle, or trim its hold bit by bit. Sometimes you even have to turn a cut piece of bamboo like a corkscrew to extract it, and you can really only detangle it (with the amazing detangler) from below. I could mix any number of metaphors now. I'm usually quite good at that, but, I've just had a shower, and have busted out my half caftan that I bought in Port Willunga last time I was home. Frankly, I'm... looking for love.